Thursday, June 3, 2010

Here's to the next 30.. forgive me body, for I have sinned...


Well, welcome to my next 30 years! I am a girl who has just recently entered her 30's and I figured what better time than now to start blogging about my life and the things that are going on in my life and the things that I want to accomplish..


My 30th year began on March 15th, 2010 at 7:59 pm -- exactly 30 years from the day that I was born. *So says my mom, because my birth certificate says 6:59 pm, but I won't argue with her about that :) At 30, my first and only child was a year and a half old, my marriage was almost 5 1/2 years old, and my career was a little over 5 1/2 years old. I had told myself that the things that have happened in my past were just that, the past; however, more memories were to be made and I look to the future to make more memories.

For the past year and a half, I have basically dreamed of losing the baby weight that I gained during my pregnancy. To be completely honest (and it embarasses me to even put a number on here), but my pre-pregnancy weight was 131 lbs. Even at that weight, I was told to lose a few pounds by my ob/gyn a few days after I had a miscarriage. Talk about a kick in the gut; I had just lost the most precious gift that I had ever been given after trying for almost 2 years to achieve and here was my dr telling me to "lose a few pounds". If he could only see me now, right!? During my pregnancy, I only gained around 30-35 lbs, which is not terrible considering I had gestational diabetes. Well, I only got down to about 140 lbs before the weight started creeping up again. I had NINE pounds to go and then BAM -- 1 more became 2 more, 2 more became 3 more, and so on.. I'm now at 148 lbs (GOD THAT KILLS ME TO SAY!) And anyone out there who says "that's nothing!", just think that I'm 4'11" and 148 lbs. 148 lbs on a stature of 4'11" is a lot.. its actually very overweight considering I'm supposed to be about 115 lbs. I remember looking at the before and after picture of Melissa Joan Hart on the cover of People once she had lost all of her weight. I realized that she weighed as much as me in the before picture and she really looked overweight, so what in the world did I look like?? In pictures, I see my double chin and my loose, flabby belly and I hate to see them.. I try to stay away from pictures, but I also want to document my moments with my little boy as he gets older.

For a year and a half, I have not been able to fit in any of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I don't feel good in any of my clothes and I'm very insecure about the way that I look because of the weight and flabby skin around my tummy. Not to mention the stretchmarks that popped up in my 38th week of pregnancy *ugh*.. About a month before I got pregnant, because I had decided that pregnancy was never going to happen, I had bought some size 6 jeans from Old Navy. I bought like 4 pairs of them and they are just hanging in my closet.. My goal is to wear those jeans again.. My goal is to be back in my clothes and then buy some new clothes that I can feel good in again..

So, here it is for the world to see.. I'm going to lose my weight.. I'm going to do it this time.. Since Monday, May 31st, I have been walking and jogging between 1.5 to 4 miles a day. I'm going to stick with it and I'm going to succeed. My goal for the end of summer is to lose 15 lbs, which puts me at my 'almost' pre-pregnancy weight... My ultimate goal would be 120-125 lbs. I started taking metformin, which should counteract my PCOS symptoms (look it up if you don't know what it is because that is totally another blog at another time). I'm also making diet changes. I have not had any sweets or candy since May 31st and it is KILLLLING ME! I have the biggest sweet tooth ever and I don't need to talk about it, but I'm longing for a bite of a warm, gooey brownie and some cold milk right now. But, nope.. that will be my reward for another time. For now, my sweets have consisted of a piece of fruit or 2.

Since May 31st, I have awakened to a scale that has said 148.0. To keep me going, I taped a piece of paper above the scale on the wall that says what I have weighed-in at each morning. I will eventually stop weighing myself every day, but for me, it is a way for me to see what I am or am not doing right. I'm tinkering with it and I'll tweak it where it needs to be tweaked...
So that's where I stand. Literally 4'11", 148 lbs.. I'll be sure to keep an update going on how my weight loss is going.. Until then, Live, laugh, love, lose!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment