what?

This year, I made the decision to visit the ENT dr because of my frequent sinus infections. I was thinking that my ear ringing and fullness in my ears had to do with my sinuses. So, after my surgery, I waited for my ears to stop ringing and the fullness to go away. It didn't. At my last ENT appt with my dr, whom I love, he asked if I would be okay with having my hearing tested and I didn't object. The audiologist had already left for the day, so I was rescheduled to go back on Friday, Sept. 24th. I went in for the hearing test and the audiologist, Wendy, took me to a booth and put headphones on my head and then handed me a buzzer. She told me she was going to play a series of beeps and I was to push the buzzer when I heard a beep. I pushed the buzzer when I heard the beeps and started to panic when I couldn't tell if I was actually hearing beeps or if they were echoing in my head. I wasn't sure if I should push the buzzer or not. I was starting to get a little worried at that point. Once that was done, I remained in the booth and Wendy was giving me random words to repeat back to her. These were words like airplane, umbrella, etc.. I worried again when I couldn't tell what she was saying and all I could do was shrug and say "I don't know". I just thought back to the times when I would be in a conversation and I couldn't understand what people were saying. I felt stupid and embarassed. Wendy came back to the booth and put another headphone on me that went behind my ear and up near my forehead. I was to push the buzzer again when I heard the beeps. They were a little easier to hear this time, but I was still somewhat unsure. Once that was done, we went to discuss my results. She asked if I had any family history of hearing loss. But there is none that I'm aware of. She showed me the chart of my hearing test and filled in the top half with the pink highlighter. That was the area that I was 'supposed' to be in. My x's were below the pink area and this was not normal for a 30 year old. I fall into the mild-moderate hearing loss range. She said that it won't get better and will probably continue to worsen. The good thing about my hearing loss is that my brain is making up for sounds that I am not hearing and allows me to understand what people are saying due to the words that I already know. When I was repeating words back to Wendy, she said I was leaving off consonants of words that I had been saying since I have been able to talk. Since my brain is hearing parts of words, it is compensating for sounds I am not hearing. Good thing! Both of my ears are the same and Wendy recommended hearing aids. She showed me one that I should get if I decided to go that route. The one she thinks would be better for me is the behind the ear aid that will be hidden by my ear and a little tube would amplify the sounds I'm not hearing. This hearing aid allows me to hear my natural hearing, but will get the help that I need to fully hear using the aid. Right now I am waiting to hear what insurance will cover, if any, and then we will move forward with the hearing aids.... So, that's my deal right now.. Scary and new - but I will get through it. I have the loving support of family and friends that will help me through it.. Thanks to all for giving me love and support! ((HUGS))

i'm tired... i say that a lot

My title says it all... I'm tired... and I say that a lot!! Who wouldn't be tired with a toddler at home and teaching 3,4,5 year olds at work? I wake up at 5 am to get ready and then I get Liam all ready for daycare. Some days I get to sleep in an extra 15 mins when Phil takes him to daycare. Yeah, wow.. I leave one full-time job for another full-time job. And when that job is done, I'm back to my home full-time job. I LOVE my quiet evenings on the couch. I learned to appreciate them over the summer and I'm making sure I keep enjoying them thru the school year. My guilty pleasure is watching trash tv shows like Jersey Shore. Although I do enjoy watching true murder mystery shows like 48 Hrs Mystery too.. Anyway, I have been staying at work later to finish paperwork and get ready for the next day. A teacher's work AND a mom's work is never done! So, now I'm sitting on the couch and enjoying the movie Cocktail. Its 9:00 and I'll be in bed within 2 hours.. So, I'm soaking it all in!

The weight loss was on hold for a while and I'm trying to get back into it. Surgery really wiped me out and I was unable to yoga due to the bending over. At my post-op appt, my dr said I was healing nicely. I have some really odd smells and tastes sometimes and that gets really annoying. Its almost like a metal or rubber smell and taste and blahhhh! I never know what my food is going to taste like. So, since I'm doing much better now, I have to start back on the treadmill too. My only problem is finding time to do it! When I get home, I'm busy playing with Liam and getting everything cleaned up and ready to do it all again the next day. I want to get up and run in the mornings, but I have a hard time doing that. I discovered how wonderful the snooze button was in college and it has been my worst enemy ever since... Anyway, I'm vowing to get those pounds off soon! I have no excuses anymore and I CAN do it!

It seems as if turning 30 has made my body start to go downhill. already?

For the last year or so, I have been very prone to sinus infections after getting a cold. This has meant that every single time I get a cold, I would then go on to get a sinus infection to last another couple of weeks. This past winter was no exception. It seemed like I was sick every week! It was miserable and I had had enough when I finally could not smell or taste for 2 weeks. Then, I couldn't hear out of one of my ears. I was tired of going to the Walgreens clinics and hearing "you have a sinus infection". And then the last time I went, they told me "you have allergies". Well, enough was enough.. I was sick for the last time at the end of May when I decided I was going to go see an Ear, Nose, and Throat dr.

I made my appt for the dr, and ended up seeing a Nurse Practitioner.He says he thinks I have acid reflux and TMJ. He can't be for sure, so he asks me if I would mind getting a CT scan. So, I do... The dr's office calls back and says that the dr has reviewed my scan and has diagnosed me with chronic sinusitis. BUT, she couldn't fit me in with the dr for several weeks. So, I complied and went to the dr on my July 14th appt.

I thought he was honest and I was honest with him that all of my symptoms were not going away no matter how many antibiotics and steroids I took. I was using the neti-pot and it did nothing. I even think I felt worse a few days after using the neti-pot... So, he feels like we've exhausted all of our options and says surgery would be the best option. I complied, again...

This is me being nervous at the hospital before surgery....

This was me updating my facebook status at the hospital....

Phil told me to smile...

I finally had my surgery on July 23rd... I checked in at the hospital around 10:30 am, and they had me all hooked up to an IV by 11:30. Anyway, a series of ppl came into my room and introduced themselves to me and Phil. Phil made a few random jokes here and there and, as always, he's the life of the room. I get all undressed and put on their little warming gown they call Bair Paws. Its not glamorous, nor is it comfy, nor is it a one size fits all thing. It was huge on me... Anyway, I saw my dr and he explained what we would be doing. Then he left and the anesthesiologist came in. I swear this guy looked like he was about 20 years old and it was his first time doing this. He seemed unsure and uneasy about the whole thing and I think someone must have stolen this poor guy's sense of humor. Anyway, he left and my RN, Mary, came in to wheel me to OR. She said she would be with me during the procedure. Mary puts a hair hat on my head and we roll on to OR. It has be around 12:30 by this time. Mary stops right outside the OR and pushes open the doors. A guy named Justin is standing outside the OR. I don't know what Justin's job is, but he was scrubbing his hands like crazy. Mary comes back out to get me and wheels me into the OR. It was cold and white. Very cold... I get switched over to the OR bed and I'm shaking. Mary asks if I would like a warm blanket and I told her yes. She and Justin put those sticky monitor things on me and then cover me up with the warm blanket. Justin was so unsure of himself that he didn't know how to wrap my hands in the blanket - that bed was so narrow that my hands were falling off the bed. So, she helps him and he kinda stands next to me, uncomfortably, while I'm shaking and trying to calm down. Just then, I hear that awkward anesthesiologist's voice behind me telling me that he was giving me something to calm me down. I remember thinking that I was so grateful for that because I was nervous.... And that's the last thing I remember before surgery. This was after Mary put my hat on me... Look at me, trying to hide my nerves...

After surgery, I remember kinda waking up and seeing a blurry person in front of me. She asked me if I wanted an ice chip and I told her yes, so she stuck one in my mouth. I guess I chewed it up and went back to sleep. I woke up again and she asked if I was ok. I said my throat was hurting and she asked if I wanted another ice chip. I replied yes and she stuck another one in my mouth... Then, I remember being wheeled into my first room where Phil was waiting. My throat was hurting really badly from having that tube down my throat. I tried to open my eyes, but I was so out of it... I remember riding to daycare and Phil running in to get Liam.. Liam says "hi mommy!" and I talked to him a little bit. And we drove home. Phil and I had the same conversation 4 times b/c I couldn't remember what he told me every time I asked.. This is me, recovering....

I'm still recovering, but here's what I do know now... my dr went in and removed a cyst and some old tissue and drained out all of my infection. One side was worse than the other (guessing it was the side with the cyst) and he widend the sinus cavities so they would be able to drain better...

Right now I feel stuffy since they pack the sinuses with packing to keep from bleeding everywhere. This stuff is supposed to dissolve in my nose. In the meantime, I'm supposed to use saline solution to keep from drying out. And I'm laying in a room with a vaporizer to keep my nasal cavities moist. I've been told I can't sneeze for the first little bit. Right now, I'm taking pain meds and antibiotics, and I hope to be up and moving in the next few days. I better be, I have to go back to work next week!

down...down...down.... down the candy aisle

No matter how many times I've wanted to give up on my weight loss, waking up this morning to see that the scale has moved again made it all worth it. Even up until last night, I was thinking that it wasn't working and I was done. I'm so glad that I kept on it... I am now at 142.6!!! That's almost a whole 6 pounds since I started 3 weeks ago. I haven't measured my inches around my waist yet, as some people have mentioned I should do, but I think I'm going to start doing that pretty soon. I feel like I've lost some inches and Phil says he can tell a difference... Last night I told him that I didn't want to do yoga and he forced me up off the couch to do it. And I'm truly thankful that he made me do it! I had already had it in my head that if I hadn't lost any weight when I woke up this morning, then I was going to make a batch of brownies. If you know my weakness, you know that I lovvvve brownies! And as gross as it may seem to some, I love brownie batter even more... Somebody up above must have been listening because the scale had budged yet again and it gave me more motivation to keep with it.

I want to share a few of my food 'secrets' that I've found to help with curbing my sweet tooth so that I don't go absolutely insane... First off, skip the candy bar section that those devils at every store have strategically placed so that you can pick one up on your way out the door. I promise you, as soon as you leave knowing that you didn't pick one up, it will make you feel so much better about yourself because you were able to have a little self-control. My secret was to pick one candy bar and just imagine what it tasted like.. and then tell myself that I would get one on a day off once I reached a particular goal. It was crazy how much it helped just to imagine the taste.. Second, there are several foods that I have found that I can allow myself to have. Those are: Multi-Grain Cheerios!!! Whole grain foods have been shown to help you with weight loss and they're good too. These Cheerios are lightly sweetened and taste ALMOST like Honey Nut Cheerios. A little secret about them that I like is that 1 serving contains enough iron for an entire day. This was how I got enough iron in my diet when I was pregnant b/c that little guy was sucking every bit of my iron from me. Another food is Sara Lee's Soft & Smooth Whole Wheat bread and hot dog buns. Yes, they are whole wheat and they are surprisingly good. I cringed at the thought of whole wheat foods, but its actually so much better for you than white bread and it is definitely a lot smoother than 'regular' whole wheat. Just eat it sparingly!! Also, sugar free popsicles! Those taste exactly like 'regular' popsicles! I love them :) Sugar free pudding is also great... And if you can stomach Splenda (some ppl have tummy aches when they have it) and you like Kool-Aid (which I LOVE), then make Kool-Aid using Splenda just as you would using normal sugar. This helps me SO much when I want a little flavor other than bland ol' water. Also, if you are on the go, grab a bottle of water and some sugar free Kool Aid packets that come in the little boxes. They're excellent too!

Well, I guess that's about it... I have shared some of my secrets for me to keep going! I will get a 'cheat day' tomorrow since Phil and I will be going out on a date! I promise not to be TOO bad though..

Until next time,
Live, laugh, love, lose!!!

my past 30 health.. and he's working my patience..

Seriously, who would have thought that I would turn 30 and it would all go downhill? Over the winter and spring, I was having some sinus/cold/allergy issues. After having 2 back to back colds and "sinus infections" (I put that in quotes because apparently it was misdiagnosed), I made an appt for the ENT dr.. I went there this past Tuesday only to be diagnosed with Acid Reflux and possible TMJ. Amazingly enough, these were 2 issues that I was diagnosed with when I was in high school and college. Now, they have come back to haunt me. If you weren't aware, acid reflux can cause the sinus infection-like symptoms. And the TMJ is causing what sounds like fluid in my ears along with the ringing.. So, I'm now on acid reflux meds along with some nasal sprays. I did, however, decide to get a CT scan on my sinuses just to rule that out. He also said that I was having some severe allergy issues, so I'm also on an allergy medicine. I told him that Allegra wasn't doing anything for me, so he switched it. I go on Tuesday to get my CT scan..



My weight-loss has been on hold for a week (yeah, I've been bad, but not that bad). I'm at 146 now, so I can say that I have successfully lost 2 pounds total. In my defense, I've been working on some house projects that have really left little time to exercise. I refuse to go out in the humidity and 100 degree weather that we've been having, so I will get back to the treadmill tomorrow. I have noticed that my stomach doesn't appear to be as bloated as it has looked. Possibly from the 'no soda rule'??? Okay, I slipped.. I had a 1/2 cup of coke yesterday.. ugh.. but at least it wasn't a lot, right? And it did curb the urge to drink a whole 2-liter of it. I will get back on the treadmill tomorrow, I will! Anyway, my stomach does not look as bloated - yay!



Do you know how hard it is to pass up the urge to buy a candybar at the register? For me, it is soooo hard! I have a sweet tooth like you wouldn't believe... Wait a minute, I did do yoga the other night! Yeah, its a weight-loss yoga video that we bought a couple of years ago (before Liam was born). So, we did do that this week.. I haven't strayed off of the diet too much and I did decide on a bowl of fruit over a handful of candy the other night. I fought off the urge and succeeded..



I love my son.. seriously, I do.. but, boy does he test his limits (and my patience)these days! I have learned to have on hand, at all times, a book or 2, some juice, a snack or 2, and some juice. This is my survival kit.. If one or 2 of these items are missing, we've had a BAD day. Notice I said "MY" survival kit - not his! He is in the midst of learning to communicate, which leads to frustrations. He is also learning that we don't always get what we want. We have no implemented a 'time-out' spot yet because he won't really understand it yet. So, our negative choices for him right now are getting 'spanked' or going to bed. We don't beat our child, but I think that a swat here or there is not going to kill him. I mean, if its between swatting his hand away from a hot stove or allowing him to grab onto a handle of boiling hot water, I'm going to swat his hand. And I think that most people would agree.. I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine. I don't consider the swats that I got as bad, and I appreciate my parents for it. I knew the difference between right and wrong because of it.. Same thing with my husband and we believe in the same disciplining techniques.. Anyway, with that said, he is learning to test limits and telling us "no!" or throwing a little tantrum here or there. Its a learning phase and we will get through it.. we WILL get through it, lol.. There are a lot of stern looks and firm "NO!' often, so hopefully he is learning right from wrong..

and I was runnnning....

It has been 6 days since I started the whole weight loss process. I appreciate all of the support that I have received.. My motivation comes from the compliments, kind words, and words of encouragement. So, thank you!

I have walked/jogged/ran each day for 6 days. This has been anywhere from a mile and a half to 4 miles. If its raining out, then we take turns on the treadmill and if its nice out, we go walking... Anyway, I am proud to say that, as of this morning, I am down to 145.6 pounds. All it took was eating healthy and doing my exercises! I'm not feeling or seeing much difference around my spare tire tummy, but I know its coming eventually. I want to see results in my face and tummy.. So yay progress!!!

This week, I did fall off of the wagon for a night - thanks to a night out to dinner with friends. I ate fried chicken tenders and fries (but I did drink a water, which is a step up from my regular Coke).. I felt SO bloated and so incredibly bad once I got home. I swear, if I could have turned bulimic in that point and time, I would have. Then, to make matters worse, I looked up the nutritional facts for my meal. Oh dear Lord... 900 calories.... in ONE tender. It just made me feel that much more sick!! I had eaten 3, possibly 4, tenders and that didn't even include the fries. So, I felt ashamed of myself. However, the scale continued to move the next morning - so I didn't feel quite as bad because I was able to have that as my treat :) I should probably mention that I had not had that much to eat that day since I knew I was going out that night. The only other time that I have fallen off of the wagon is today at a one year old's birthday party; I had a few bites of a piece of cake. The good part is that I had portion control. I was able to get a few bites and then throw the rest away... But it was good while it lasted!!

So, my son, the almost 20 month old little boy, is Liam. Liam was born via c-section on the early morning hours (1:31 am) of October 15, 2008. I worked until I was 5 cm dilated... YES... I am a trooper. Actually, I had kidney stones around Sept. 18th and I think that started the whole process. I ended up having the c-section because I was in my 15th hour of labor and had only dilated to 6 cm's after being on Pitocin all day.. Liam is a dancer, jumper, singer, and he likes fruit. He can also throw a tantrum with the best of them. We went to Babies R Us yesterday to get a potty seat because we'll be walking down that road soon enough. We were fine walking to the door; he was holding mine and daddy's hands as we walked through the parking lot and he could count to 3 and we would swing him up in the air - as we always do. Well, we get to the door and a lady was putting a buggy away. She says "do you need a buggy?" and proceeds to give us this buggy. Well, Liam was close enough to where he could give the buggy a push. If you know Liam, you would know that he likes to push anything around. His battery operated 4-wheeler is just a big push toy to him... He got a small taste of pushing the buggy around and when daddy picked him up to put him in it, he flipppped out! Yelling, throwing his body back, and just making it as awkward for us as possible to put him IN the buggy. It had gone on long enough and he was making such a scene that I finally grabbed both of his hands and said, very sternly, "NO! That's enough!" And he whined some, but he knew he had been had, so it was a lot easier to strap him in. I looked up and over to my left where there was a lady looking at us and kindof a disapproving look on her face. Now, it may have just been my thinking that it was disapproving, but whatever it was, I didn't like it. I don't know if she was thinking that what I did was wrong or what he was doing was wrong, but who cares... and who are you to judge me OR my child? He is almost 20 months old, so he throws tantrums. Do you really think I'm going to let that go on and let him think that its ok to throw a tantrum? Absolutely not... He has to learn somewhere and I refuse to start disciplining him when he turns 3 and is such a holy terror that people hate to see him coming.. *steps down off of soapbox*.. I do my best to teach him manners and so far he says "thank you" and "please", so I personally think that teaching socially appropriate behaviors need to start from the beginning... Ok, that's it.. I just had to tell my story of the lady whose child is probably the one you hear running around the store screaming her head off because mommy won't buy her the toy she wants.

More Liam stories will follow, I promise.. There will be some great ones, I'm sure!

Until next time, Live, laugh, love, lose!!! :)

Here's to the next 30.. forgive me body, for I have sinned...

Well, welcome to my next 30 years! I am a girl who has just recently entered her 30's and I figured what better time than now to start blogging about my life and the things that are going on in my life and the things that I want to accomplish..

My 30th year began on March 15th, 2010 at 7:59 pm -- exactly 30 years from the day that I was born. *So says my mom, because my birth certificate says 6:59 pm, but I won't argue with her about that :) At 30, my first and only child was a year and a half old, my marriage was almost 5 1/2 years old, and my career was a little over 5 1/2 years old. I had told myself that the things that have happened in my past were just that, the past; however, more memories were to be made and I look to the future to make more memories.

For the past year and a half, I have basically dreamed of losing the baby weight that I gained during my pregnancy. To be completely honest (and it embarasses me to even put a number on here), but my pre-pregnancy weight was 131 lbs. Even at that weight, I was told to lose a few pounds by my ob/gyn a few days after I had a miscarriage. Talk about a kick in the gut; I had just lost the most precious gift that I had ever been given after trying for almost 2 years to achieve and here was my dr telling me to "lose a few pounds". If he could only see me now, right!? During my pregnancy, I only gained around 30-35 lbs, which is not terrible considering I had gestational diabetes. Well, I only got down to about 140 lbs before the weight started creeping up again. I had NINE pounds to go and then BAM -- 1 more became 2 more, 2 more became 3 more, and so on.. I'm now at 148 lbs (GOD THAT KILLS ME TO SAY!) And anyone out there who says "that's nothing!", just think that I'm 4'11" and 148 lbs. 148 lbs on a stature of 4'11" is a lot.. its actually very overweight considering I'm supposed to be about 115 lbs. I remember looking at the before and after picture of Melissa Joan Hart on the cover of People once she had lost all of her weight. I realized that she weighed as much as me in the before picture and she really looked overweight, so what in the world did I look like?? In pictures, I see my double chin and my loose, flabby belly and I hate to see them.. I try to stay away from pictures, but I also want to document my moments with my little boy as he gets older.

For a year and a half, I have not been able to fit in any of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I don't feel good in any of my clothes and I'm very insecure about the way that I look because of the weight and flabby skin around my tummy. Not to mention the stretchmarks that popped up in my 38th week of pregnancy *ugh*.. About a month before I got pregnant, because I had decided that pregnancy was never going to happen, I had bought some size 6 jeans from Old Navy. I bought like 4 pairs of them and they are just hanging in my closet.. My goal is to wear those jeans again.. My goal is to be back in my clothes and then buy some new clothes that I can feel good in again..

So, here it is for the world to see.. I'm going to lose my weight.. I'm going to do it this time.. Since Monday, May 31st, I have been walking and jogging between 1.5 to 4 miles a day. I'm going to stick with it and I'm going to succeed. My goal for the end of summer is to lose 15 lbs, which puts me at my 'almost' pre-pregnancy weight... My ultimate goal would be 120-125 lbs. I started taking metformin, which should counteract my PCOS symptoms (look it up if you don't know what it is because that is totally another blog at another time). I'm also making diet changes. I have not had any sweets or candy since May 31st and it is KILLLLING ME! I have the biggest sweet tooth ever and I don't need to talk about it, but I'm longing for a bite of a warm, gooey brownie and some cold milk right now. But, nope.. that will be my reward for another time. For now, my sweets have consisted of a piece of fruit or 2.

Since May 31st, I have awakened to a scale that has said 148.0. To keep me going, I taped a piece of paper above the scale on the wall that says what I have weighed-in at each morning. I will eventually stop weighing myself every day, but for me, it is a way for me to see what I am or am not doing right. I'm tinkering with it and I'll tweak it where it needs to be tweaked...

So that's where I stand. Literally 4'11", 148 lbs.. I'll be sure to keep an update going on how my weight loss is going.. Until then, Live, laugh, love, lose!!!